Us, Them
One thing that a focus on perfection provides is an easy way to feel superior to others. Accordingly, it becomes easy to feel better about oneself, at least in a superficial way. Schadenfreude feels good; this approach is psychologically attractive. Also, this outlook drives wedges between people.
We have an ideal in our mind (often at least loosely based on ourselves), and we judge others against it. This creates an "us" and "them" division. There are "people like me" or perhaps "people I like" and in opposition is "everyone else".
Consider the alternative: seeing others for what they are. This is more difficult to hold in one's mind. Rather than being a version of your ideal (which you know well) with some assortment of flaws mixed in, this other entity starts as an entirely unknown thing. You only know what you have actually observed, which is not much, in the beginning. This can be disconcerting.
I suspect that the less comfortable you are with yourself, the more off-putting this feeling is. To be surrounded with unknowns and not have some safe place to come home to (your self) is harrowing.
But consider the advantages:
- Others become more interesting, being more than just flawed versions of some fake ideal.
- What used to be ugly or off-putting now raises questions — why do you find them to be so? Perhaps they are right and you are wrong?
- You build yourself a mind that can operate in a more complex enviornment.
- Ironically, keeping an awareness that others may be different from you promotes a greater feeling of connection to everyone.
- Any similarities you do find are more likely to be real, not just your imaginings.
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