Masochism
The ones who have failure pushed upon them from outside have an advantage: they are forced to deal with it. They are forced to grow the part of themselves that can handle failure. And in dealing with it, it becomes less frightening — maybe even comfortable.
For others, who enjoy an ostensibly easier existence, failure remains frightening. They are able to get by while avoiding the discomfort, and so they do. And so they remain afraid.
But how can you gain the benefits of a difficult existence without actually being handed one? Develop your masochism. Though again, that is easier for some than for others.
Perhaps a cornier way to say it is: "challenge yourself!" That phrase can come across as "dare yourself to do it," but that doesn't describe the process. You need to fail, feel pain, experience fear, and doubt, and somehow be interested in doing it again. And again, and again. Masochism describes it better.
Then, once you have embraced failure, you get to wonder whether you did the right thing, or have needlessly twisted yourself into some broken, contorted being.
Have fun out there!